My 3rd fastest marathon. I guess I should be content with that, but NO! Oh well! I am starting to feel more defeated by the limitations of my own body more than the challenges of the marathon itself. You can see where the bathroom stops where by the splits... yeah. Just love training for 2 1/2 flippin' months to see my BQ go down the toilet... literally.
10 Km Half 16 Mi 20 Mi
52:19 1:56:27 2:26:19 3:02:35 I don't remember much about this race. Does that sound weird? At the start, the air was a little crisp in the high 40's or low 50's. I ran into Alan and my friend Crystal. She was running her first marathon. A very talented gal. She ran an amazing time. I think it was 3:37:29! It was overcast and perfect running weather. Last night, I went out to eat at PF Chang's with my husband, my pal Ellie and her spouse. I figured that rice and chicken would be a harmless combination for me. I was dead wrong. The tummy cramps started about 20 minutes after I ate. I had diarrhea off and on for 2 hours and this morning, my stomach was still in knots. My Crohn's Disease sucks. Any bit of stress, anything slightly different and it can mean disaster for me. To top it off, I went into the race with the remnants of a head cold, and not really feeling as rested I should have been. After 3 hectic night shifts this week at work, I still was feeling my sore calfs. Enough with the excuses. It is what it is. I knew that me hitting my goal time of 3:45 would mean that everything would have to go perfectly. Already, it wasn't going that way but I hoped for the best. The race started 1/2 hour late because of issues with the train. I am not quite sure what the issue was, but I just wanted to get started already! A potty break when we arrived and some diarrhea. Great. I got into the coral but then felt the need to empty my bladder so I did so between cars in a parking lot because the lines at the porta potties were still quite long. I got back into my coral joining the 3:45 pace group. My husband decided 3 weeks ago that he was running the marathon. Crazy guy. He is in good shape and just quickly ramped up his mileage. His body seems to recover so quickly. He really amazes me. He was somewhere in the crowd along with my buddy Ellie. Ellie and I trained together. If anyone was going to reach that 3:45 goal time, I knew out of the two of us, that it would surely be her. Such a strong runner and so naturally fast. I have to work so hard at it, but Ellie has gifts that I just don't have. Ellie pulled a 3:42. So happy for her!!! Finally the race started and off I went. Mile 4, I felt the cramping come on and held it until I couldn't anymore. At mile 10, into the porta potty I went. I was with my pace group until then and although I was feeling it a little, I know I would have hung with them longer. I lost hope at the first bathroom stop. It delayed me probably by 3 minutes. Another stop before mile 16... I am pissed, but there's nothing I can do. At this point in the race, I am thinking about all the work the past 2 1/2 months. Although my time is respectable, it is not what I am capable of. I don't like working hard and then not getting paid!!! Miles 16-20.... a complete blur. Not sure what mile it was when I stopped at the bathroom again. Miles 20-26.2... I am holding on. I run, get tummy cramps, and then have to walk to work it out. I have lost my gusto. Once again on race day, I am so disappointed that I have to keep mentally collecting myself to hold back the tears. I didn't cry and I didn't give up. I don't ever give up. During the race, I was using my phone as my radio. Several times during the race, my phone rang... my brother is calling me. Really? Why are you CALLING me during a marathon? Do you actually think I'm gonna answer? Ridiculous. The last mile hurt. Not my legs, not my breathing, but my stomach was killing me. I am ok with the time I got today but I am not ok with my own stupidity. I should have just eaten at the hotel and brought my own food from home. When I saw the 4 hour pace group go by me and I couldn't keep up, I honestly wondered if maybe this would be my last marathon. The thoughts of "retiring" crossed my mind... and then so did the thoughts of doing a 50 mile race this year in the mountains. Two extreme ways of thinking all within a matter of a few seconds of each other. That is who I am. I am extreme. My husband once said something to me that has stuck with me all these years. "Why do you always have to do things at such a high level all the time?" I don't have an answer for that question. It is who I am. My husband completed his first marathon in 4:34:28. He has a new level of respect for what I do and he realized that the last 10k was all I said it was and would be. He crossed the marathon off his bucket list but he said that running one would have never been on it because "it is too tough." I am still left with the many questions that every passionate runner asks themselves. Is this the best I can do? Is this all I can hope for? I refuse to believe that I can't do better than this. I refuse to think that my genetics can't be overpowered by good training. Is 3:49 and some change going to be my best marathon? Will another Boston qualifying time NOT be in my future? One thing is for sure, it remains to be seen because I will never quit. Happy running... file://localhost/Users/Kyle/Desktop/0023t.jpg
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